iMergency

Seriously. iPhone 3G. This is not funny. And you know I love you. But I think we’re about to have our first lovers’ quarrel.

iPhone 3G…people mocked me when I stood in line for you. They asked me why I was abandoning First Gen iPhone for you. You weren’t that much better, they said. But no. I stood in line for you under the hot Stanford sun. I braved the first day installation chaos when everyone was crying iPocalypse. Not to mention you were still married to  AT&T.

I defended you when people said I deserved better. I didn’t mind. I’d deal with it. They said you were flakey. You dropped too many calls. You were moody — you crashed on apps for no apparent reason. You switched between EDGE and 3G for reasons I still don’t understand. But I stuck with you because I was in love with you. 

Today, I waited up for 2.1. I patiently downloaded as soon as it was available. I sat through the long, excruciating backup because you promised me better battery life, fewer dropped calls, among other things. You said things would be better from now on. 

So I installed 2.1 and now…you decided to shut down on me while I am using you as an iPod. An iPod, for crying out loud. I wasn’t asking you to play me a song on Pandora, or broadcast my location on Loopt, or tell the world of my undying love for you on Twitter. No. I was using you as an iPod, listening to “Cure for the Pain.” Was that really too much to ask for? 

Still, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I held down your reset button. You’d come around, I thought. When you didn’t respond, I plugged you in. My MacBook Pro responded to you, and you gave me a glimmer of hope when you showed me your logo. But then you started having these iSeizures. You were vibrating uncontrollably as if you were having a tantrum. 

And then…silence. 

You’re gone. 

I’m sorry. I deserve better than this. 

My first gen iPhone never treated me like this. And I left him for you. How could you do this to me? All I ever did was love you, your flaws and all. 

I don’t know what to do, iPhone 3G. You really broke my heart this time.